A wound that shows heals faster but the one that doesn't, needs time, effort and determination with a strong will to move on.
A physical wound that's not very deep is best healed if left on it's own. Similarly, a wound that is more emotional in nature but doesn't hurt so much as to deprive us of our mental peace and happiness altogether shouldn't be treated but slowly be allowed to fade away from our system/mind. In such cases, time is the best healer.
But, what happens when they are deep within ... they refuse to heal even when let on their own, in fact they get deeper with your every attempt to leave or quickly cure them. It are these wounds which even when healed leave a scar behind. And, interestingly these scars are not always bad for us ... in fact it are these very scars that influence our perception, add to our experience and make us more mature & stronger to face life and its ups and downs.
But such positive outcomes result, only if you spend time on your wounds, experience them, nourish them with meditation and calmness. One can't be impatient or forceful in getting rid of the hurt because any such attempt on your part would only widen the impact of the wound though it may temporarily seem to have ameliorated.
I know, this is not easy, not easy at all ... like for the treatment of a physical wound, one has to go through an ordeal which would cause even more pain than the wound itself but alas it is the only way to be cured ... same is the case with the wound that is responsible for a void in your heart. You have to let yourself experience the pain, no matter how unbearable it is ... you'll have to bear it if you want to be relieved of it. If you think you'll be able to get rid of it by ignoring it, you are wrong because that will only deepen it further ... making it almost incurable.
Life is never fair, it may seem to us that it's only us it isn't fair to but that's not true and it's a fact ... some are open about their grievances ... some are not but nevertheless we all experience unfair situations or relations in our lives. And, this should at least be of some relief to those experiencing an agonizing situation.
People who are optimistic, spend time in self contemplation and believe in dealing with a situation head on usually emerge out as stronger individuals from any such experience that seems unfair. For them their scars are the experiences that have helped them in having a better understanding of themselves and their surroundings.
To us as humans, relationships matter the most and most often it are these that are responsible for the deepest of wounds. Be it any relation, if we had faith in it .... we trusted the other with his/her words ... we had let that person affect us in all ways possible ... then it has the potential to leave us with an unbearable ache that makes us miserable and inconsolable, when it goes wrong or ends abruptly.
We feel duped, we feel cheated because we had given utmost importance to the relation that meant nothing much to the other involved. And the worst irony is, it was that very person who made us believe that what we are sharing is something very special ... that it goes beyond the limitations of physical existence ... it is eternal.
Then one fine day, without any explanation or reason that relation comes to an end, all communication stops and you are left in a situation, where all you can do is wait, wait that maybe some sensitivity dawns on the other person and you are explained the reasons. And all this agony for what ... for trusting someone, for believing in a relation that though had nothing to offer but still had all you wanted. For having the belief that two mature individuals well past their youth are well aware of what they are involving themselves in and if ever there is some disagreement or a demanding situation it would be dealt mutually with sensitivity and maturity.
Insensitivity inflicted by someone whom you thought was the most sensitive to your needs and desires is the worst kind of misery.
But, the question is should you let this misery take over you and make you all the more vulnerable to any such future assaults or should you slowly try to overcome this feeling of extreme desolation and let it leave a memory behind that helps you in your future and adds to your experience.
I think it's important here to make yourself understand that the person for whom you are agonizing yourself isn't worthy of it at all or worst doesn't even care and is not going to be affected by seeing you in agony. If he/she would have been, you would not have been in such a situation at the first place. But then isn't this very fact the cause of your agony .. of course it is, but you have to learn to deal with it.
Whether you feel up to it or not, you have to trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with the situation you are in, life doesn't stop with one relation coming to an end. The best is to forgive, forget and move on ...
Life is beautiful, you have to have faith and patience for it to reciprocate what you invested IN IT by letting the scars that remained with you turn into experiences which, gradually will enrich your soul and eventually may get replenished with cherished memories!!
This was as much an attempt to make my own self understand the above as it was to make you (anyone who reads it) understand. :)
May we all be blessed with love and trust,
Monika
